Today, I went to Indian Hills High School in Oakland, New Jersey for an informal orientation. I met two other new hires to the English department (one was also named Amanda, but luckily, I’m one of the few Amandas that go by Mandi) and was introduced to the curriculum. I am in love with the curriculum; it has fluidity to it and the chosen novels are awesome. The building is large, beautiful and technologically progressive. The anxiety I’ve been feeling as late is now churning and turning into an emotion more akin to excitement. There’s also a new kind of optimism; I’m not so worried anymore. I feel ready to take on challenges.
Well, actually, I feel like shit (pardon my French). I have the WORST migraine in the world (excuse the hyperbole). I suffer from severe complicated, or complex, migraines. According to Mayo Clinic, “With a ‘complex migraine’ symptoms can include weakness, loss of vision, or difficulty speaking in addition to a headache – often mimicking a stroke.” My parents took me to the ER a couple of times because they were scared, as was I, when I couldn’t tell them my name or my birthday. I went to the neurologist about a year ago, and she said these attacks were brought on by stress. She emphasized how it was important for me to learn how to relax and how to stop worrying. I have yet to learn how to do either of those things. All I do is stress, worry, wonder and overthink.
Writing and listening to music helps me unwind and I promise I’m doing both … but I’m doing both while lounging. No prompt tonight; a thousand pardons, ladies and gentlemen.